Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
