hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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