OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
