and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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