WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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