Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i came on her dog
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
