So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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