If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Did I show you my penis last night?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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