This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
