someone get that fucking seahorse.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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