Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
