Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
