I hate all girls vehemently.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
