he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
