never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize