So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
