She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My pussy is not your playground.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
