People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
