ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize