I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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