WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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