Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
