Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
