Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
