someone get that fucking seahorse.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
