I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
