id be glad to
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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