There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
