We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
