piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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