Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
