Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
