Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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