WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He better not be in your backpack
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
