epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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