The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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