I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
