so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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