can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
