whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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