btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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