That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize