is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Someone signed my nipple.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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