Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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