He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
