Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
