He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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