I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
