Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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