Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
