Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
