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• (707): View more from California

  I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  only you. it could only happen to you.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.

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• (916): View more from California

  I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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• (716): View more from New York

  Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!

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