You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
