Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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