best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
