Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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