she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
ttyl tear gas
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
