Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
