how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
NoShamevember. You game?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
