so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
