No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
