1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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