its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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