I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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