I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
